Author Topic: Florida Man: the superhero we have, not the superhero we need or deserve  (Read 467 times)

protomech

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Saw this amusing twitter feed. It's auto-generated from florida newspaper headlines that contain "Florida Man". The headlines are typically amusing, sometimes vulgar.

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Florida Man Arrested For Spanking Police Horse
Florida Man Attacks Three Women With Sword And Peanut Butter Sandwich
Florida Man Busted In Dinosaur-Smuggling Caper

As you can imagine, alcohol is a likely cohort in many of these.

Then there's this gem:
Drunk Florida Man Tries to Use Taco as ID After His Car Catches Fire at Taco Bell
Quote
Falkner, 30, had apparently decided to make a run for a fourth meal after downing some beers, and he somehow made it all the way to the fast-food joint in his Chevy pickup, placed his order, and received his taco before falling asleep.

The Taco Bell manager had to call police because Falkner was out cold at the pick-up window and holding up customers behind him. Clearly this was not a victimless crime, and our hearts go out to the hungry folks who had to wait so long for their late-night munchies.

A deputy awoke Falkner and then asked for his ID. Falkner said no before reaching into his bag and presenting the officer with a taco. Another deputy clarified they were asking for an ID, not a taco. Falkner chuckled and began eating the taco.

Then deputies noticed Falkner had fallen asleep with his foot on the accelerator while his truck was in park. The engine had caught fire, and fire extinguishers were used to put it out.

Falkner's blood alcohol content was between .227 and .225, according to a breath test. That's three times the legal limit. He was hauled off to jail on DUI charges. No word on the fate of the taco.

I'm not going to hold my breath for the fear-mongering and hand-wringing over scary gas vehicles and their fire threat.
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