If you go to a shop, make sure they are custom building your suspension like Brian said. A "cheap" setup that is custom (and correct) will be better than a high end set up that is off-the shelf. Most race shops will dial in OEM equipment for $40 to $80, and it's money well spent. They can point you to the system's weaknesses, too. Also keep in mind that compression/rebound settings will be different for each piece, so while one 150lbs person will use full tight, another 150lbs person will want full loose, and the shock/fork would perform exactly he same. Even high end stuff isn't consistent.
I recommend Penske for the shock and Traxxion Dynamics for the forks in terms of bang for the buck. Doing both with top of the line stuff will run ~$2,300, or ~1,500 with lower grade equipment.
As far as maintenance is concerned, all suspension has a bushing at the bottom that slides along the inside of the cylinder. As it is sliding, it is wearing. Eventually you end up with a nice, metallic mix in the fluid which acts like a sandpaper and wears things out even faster. Just swapping fluids every 15k miles will make a big difference. Doing a full cleaning is even better.
Realistically suspension is a big compromise. If you set it up for pot holes, it'll be bad in corners, and vice versa. I plan on sticking with OEM equipment, and maybe - and that's a big maybe - swapping springs.